the search

My darlings, the turn towards darkness is upon us.  Daylight Savings Time ended, causing night fall to occur ridiculously early here in the Pacific NorthWest.  I adore my long sunshine filled days, and was sort of dreading the arrival of early nightfall.  It can be so dark.  So very dark.  There were a couple years when we first moved here that I needed to use a UV light every day, as some light therapy.  I simply couldn’t handle the darkness.

This year, my heart is in a different place than those years ago, but still – I must make choices to remain filled with light.  The long hours of dark are a reminder for me to keep the candle flame burning brightly in my heart.  This year, the turn of seasons feels like an invitation to keep my internal light as bright as possible.


This afternoon (with sunlight that looked more like twilight) I couldn’t help but notice that my dahlia (the one we thought was dead) has not only a huge flower, but also a few buds in waiting.  It is still blooming. In November.  My roses are blooming too.  And yet, the colors of fall hang over the horizon, the reds and yellows and burnt oranges on the trees line the skyline as far as I can see.  There are the winterish clouds low and heavy above.  The clouds here in Seattle are breathtaking.  I suppose we become a connoisseur of clouds here – there are so many types and variables – and my goodness, they can be gorgeous.  But I don’t always notice that unless I am looking with an open heart – otherwise, they can look like mere clouds.  Fall is fully here, and winter seems around the corner.  But still – there are summer flowers and skies filled with beauty.  This moment of flower noticing and cloud watching literally took my breath away, and my heart melted.

Later, pushing on toward evening (meaning 4 pm) I went for a walk at a local beach.  As the crisp night air settled in and the sky changed until I could no longer see the silouhette of the mountains beyond, I felt a sweet softness make its way into my heart.  It occurred to me that while the days change to winter I find it more of a priority to search – relentlessly – for beauty and for joy.  If I don’t actively search, if I sit back passively and wait – nothing seems quite so gorgeous.  In fact, a darkness inside my own heart can begin to take root.

I am noticing this year that when I make the search for beauty an active practice, it becomes a priority.  I must find a way to spend time outdoors.  I must seek the light.  It’s not an option, its an imperative.  And the rewards are immense.


As this season approaches, I ask of you – how do YOU seek the light?

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